Volume 268 | No. 1

Running on Warped Drive

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If this election campaign were an episode of “Star Trek”—we should be so lucky—we’d be hearing from Scotty pretty soon: “I dannea if she can take any more, Captain!” Eleven days ago one of the candidates released a campaign photo of himself doing something that no normal, sane person would ever do. If some normal sane person were somehow tricked into pulling this stunt—standing among the graves at Arlington National Cemetery, grinning like an ape, with his diminutive thumb raised—and was photographed in the act, they’d probably assume it was for blackmail purposes, and hire a gumshoe to deep-six the evidence. We are talking, however, …

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Sat, Oct 7

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2020—The nation is mesmerized during the Vice Presidential debate, as a fly takes a stroll on Mike Pence’s hair. 2016—The Washington Post releases a videotape on which the GOP Presidential candidate brags about grabbing women by their genitals. Hours later hacked emails of his opponent’s campaign chairman are released. 2011—On her 62nd birthday, Wal-Mart heir Alice Walton gets her 2nd DWI, but no charges are filed. She killed a woman in a 1989 car wreck, but no charges were filed then, either. 2004—George W.[MD] Bush and Dick “Dick” Cheney do the bait-and-switch: so what if Saddam didn’t have WMDs—he cheated on oil-for-food. 2001—“Operation Enduring Freedom” …

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Fri, Oct 6

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2004—The top U.S. arms inspector in Iraq says there is no evidence Saddam Hussein had tried to manufacture any WMDs after 1991. 1976—Cubana Flight 455 is bombed over Barbados, killing 73. Everyone suspects CIA-trained Luis Posada Carriles, a Miami resident, is behind it, but the U.S. won’t extradite. 1970—The replacement statue of a cop in Chicago’s Haymarket Square is blown to bits by the Weathermen. 1969—The statue of a cop in Chicago’s Haymarket Square is blown to bits by the Weathermen. 1961—President Kennedy recommends that, in case of nuclear war, American families get ready to live for a while in holes in the ground. 1927—Lawyer-turned …

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Thurs, Oct 5

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2017—The Senate confirms Steve King—who, in 1972, on ex-AG John Mitchell’s orders, restrained his wife Martha Mitchell as she was forcibly injected with tranquilizers to keep her from talking to the press—as Ambassador to the Czech Republic. 2010—“Fox and Friends” reports that Los Angeles has bought $1 billion worth of jet packs for its Police and Fire Departments. They cribbed the story from the Weekly World News. 2003—Timothy Treadwell and Amie Huguenard learn the hard way that their supposed “friends”—Alaskan grizzly bears—are not vegetarians. 2002—George W.[MD] Bush tells N.H. Guardsmen that Saddam could inflict “massive and sudden horror” on the U.S. It’s not true. 2001—Robert …

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Wed, Oct 4

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2017—America learns the hard way it has 800 troops in Niger: four Green Berets are killed in an ambush. 2004—SpaceShipOne, Burt Rutan’s tourist rocket, makes it to space a second time, winning the Ansari X Prize. 2002—Knight-Ridder: “The White House and the Pentagon…are pressuring intelligence analysts to highlight information that supports Bush’s Iraq policy.” One paper runs the story. 2001—George W.[MD] Bush orders the NSA to spy on Americans without getting warrants, i.e., illegally. 1986—Dan Rather is attacked on the streets of New York by two men yelling, “What’s the frequency, Ken?” 1971—Pres. Nguyen Van Thieu, unopposed, is reelected. He says it’s “an achievement for …

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Tues, Oct 3

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2009—Combat Outpost Keating, in Nuristan, badly-sited and scheduled for abandonment, is mostly overrun by Taliban fighters who capture weapons and ammunition, leaving eight Americans dead and 27 wounded. 2006—Republicans in Congress try to “roll over” $20 million set aside for a celebration of victory in Iraq. 2003—National Enquirer: Rush Limbaugh is under investigation for illegally procuring prescription opioids. 1993—Berlin, N.H. native Michael Durant’s helicopter is one of two shot down in the First Battle of Mogadishu. Durant, played by Ron Eldard in Black Hawk Down, survives. 1986—Missile sub K-219 catches fire. Soviets blame an alleged collision with USS Augusta. The Pentagon blames sloppy Commie  work  …

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