Sun, April 28

2011—During a speech in Las Vegas, Donald Trump drops about seven f-bombs, promising to tell the Chinese, “listen you mother______s, we’re going to tax you 25 percent.” 2006—Rush Limbaugh’s lawyers announce that their fine work will keep their dope-addled client out of prison. 2004—The SEC says banks can risk more money and keep less on hand. 2004—Frank Lautenberg [D-N.J.] says on the floor of the Senate, “We know who the chickenhawks are. They talk tough on national defense and military issues…but when it was their turn to serve, they were AWOL.” 1988—Aloha Airlines 737 develops a 20 foot hole in its fuselage; stewardess Clarabelle Lansing …

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Sat, April 27

2017—“This is more work than my previous life,” whines Dolt #45. “I thought it would be easier.” 2016—Ex-Speaker John Boehner: “I never worked with a more miserable son-of-a-bitch in my life” than Ted Cruz—“Lucifer in the flesh.” 2011—On the worst day of the largest tornado outbreak in history, 324 people are killed from Texas to Ontario. 1994—In South Africa, ex-prisoner Nelson Mandela is elected President. 1978—A cooling tower being hastily built at Willow Island, W.Va. by N.J.-based Research-Cottrell collapses, killing 51 construction workers. The company is fined $1,700 per death. 1961—JFK tells newspaper publishers that if N.H.-born editor Horace Greeley had been less stingy, his …

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Fri, April 26

1986—Murphy’s Law at Chernobyl: Ukrainian real estate values plummet, northern Earth is irradiated, and thousands are condemned to death. 1970—When the Louisiana Senate Chamber is dynamited, a pencil sticks in the ornate ceiling. It’s still there. 1952—The captain of the USS Hobson, disregarding an underling’s advice, takes his destroyer across the bow of the USS Wasp. Cut in half, the Hobson sinks with more than half its crew, captain included. 1944—The U.S. takes over Montgomery-Ward after it defies the National Labor Relations Board. 1937—German and Italian planes destroy Guernica, Spain. 1931—Lou Gehrig hits a home run but is called out for passing another runner on …

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Thurs, April 25

2005—Charles Duelfer, the CIA’s man in charge of finding WMDs in Iraq, says there are none. 2003—George W.[MD] Bush fires his Secretary of the Army for saying we don’t have enough troops in Iraq. 2002—George W.[MD] Bush and Saudi Prince Abdullah play kissy-face at the President’s Texas “ranch.” 1984—Asked if he’s ever been to a communist country, Reagan Chief of Staff James A. Baker III replies, “Well, I’ve been to Massachusetts.” 1962—The U.S. re-starts atmospheric nuclear testing with a bang—actually, 26 bangs over 77 days. 1959—Accused of raping a white woman, Mack Charles Parker is dragged from Mississippi’s Pearl River County Courthouse and lynched with …

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Wed, April 24

2020—The lead item on all news broadcasts: the manufacturer has announced that, contrary to what the President has said, people should not inject themselves with Lysol. 1980—Eight Americans die and five are wounded trying to get American hostages out of Teheran. 1967—“The military situation [in South Vietnam] is favorable,” says Gen. Wm. C. Westmoreland, but protests at home might lose the war. 1967—Soyuz 1’s chutes fail; misfiring retro-rockets incinerate the remains of Cosmonaut Vladimir Komarov. 1959—Michigan native Capt. John S. Lappo, piloting a six-engine RB-47, flies under the Mackinac Bridge at 425 mph; clearance: 155 feet. 1953—A B-29 with an F-84 bolted to each wingtip …

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Tues, April 23

2018—U.S. President #45 says, “If [George Washington] was smart, he would’ve put his name on [Mount Vernon]. You’ve got to put your name on stuff or no one remembers you.” 1993—RIP Cesar Chavez. 1971—National Security Advisor Henry Kissinger, speaking over the phone with Allen Ginsberg, agrees to meet personally but draws the line at doing so naked on live TV. 1971—Concluding Operation Dewey Canyon III, “a limited incursion into the country of Congress,” Vietnam Veterans Against the War heave medals over a fence at the Capitol. 1956—The USSR proudly announces it’s now got its own hydrogen bomb. 1952—“Do you know who’s being discriminated against?” asks …

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