The Alleged Editor

Mystery Woman Not Dead Yet

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Despite being placed in confinement Thursday morning in the state whose slogan is “Live Free or Die”—by agents of the FBI, Attorney General William Barr, proprietor—Ghislaine Maxwell, as we go to press, still has not been reported to have committed suicide, fatally fallen through the bars from an upper-floor cell onto a busy thoroughfare, or suddenly contracted a case of Covid-19 severe enough to necessitate a medically-induced coma. Maxwell’s whereabouts have been the subject of intense speculation since the arrest last year, and death in jail, of her former lover and long-time associate, the notorious convicted sexual predator Jeffrey Epstein. Bill Sweeney, Assistant Director of …

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The American Devolution

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Well, let’s see here…2020, subtract 1776…yup, looks like tomorrow, the Fourth of July, will mark this country’s 244th birthday. How shall we celebrate? We understand that El Presidente will be visiting South Dakota. Flying in on Air Force One is his subtle way of letting us know that he thinks his face belongs on Mount Rushmore. After all, what has Lincoln done for anyone lately? It pains us to say this, but in a way he’s right. After all, the so-called “Shrine of Democracy” is a grandiose monument created by a monomaniacal racist on land stolen by the government from the Sioux. Some Sioux have …

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Fri, July 3

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1994—The Mayor of Boulder, Colo. declares this “Allen Ginsberg Day.” 1993—In just leather jacket, dog collar, and jockstrap, punk rocker G.G. Allin is laid to rest at St. Rose Cemetery in his hometown, Littleton, N.H. 1988—The U.S.S. Vincennes, in Iranian waters, shoots down an Iranian airliner ascending within a commercial air corridor; 290 civilians die. 1979—President Carter OKs covert aid to the mujahideen, despite Z. Brzezinski’s warning it will spur a Soviet invasion of Afghanistan. 1978—The Supreme Court rules that seven words are too dirty to broadcast—using those words in its ruling. 1971—R. Nixon tells B. Haldeman, “Jews are all through the government…you can’t trust …

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Thurs, July 2

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2003—George W.[MD] Bush says, “There are some who feel that the conditions are such that they can attack us [in Iraq]. My answer is, bring ’em on.” 1982—Vietnam vet “Lawn Chair Larry” Walters, 33, ascends to 16,000 feet in a lawn chair buoyed by 45 helium-filled weather balloons. 1980—The Supreme Court rules that OSHA must consider corporate profits when protecting employees’ health. 1976—The Supreme Court rules it’s neither cruel nor unusual for the government to kill certain people. 1967—On their worst day in Vietnam, U.S. Marines suffer 84 KIA, 190 WIA, and 9 MIA in Operation Buffalo near Con Thien. 1964—L.B.J. signs the Civil Rights …

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Wed, July 1

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1981—Irish Cardinal Tomás Ó Fiaich descends in a helicopter for a mass on London’s Clapham Common, bearing the head of Oliver Plunkett. 1973—The U.S. military draft ends. Henceforth, the ranks will be replenished by economic coercion. 1968—A DC-8 carrying 214 U.S. soldiers to Vietnam strays into Soviet airspace and lands in the USSR. 1956—On “The Steve Allen Show,” Elvis sings “Hound Dog” to a basset hound dressed in formal wear. 1946—The U.S. Army detonates the world’s 4th nuclear explosion at Bikini Atoll. U.S. Navy sailors board radioactive target ships the following day. 1943—Willem Arondeus, who blew up Amsterdam’s Public Records building to fight Nazi oppression, …

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Tues, June 30

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2014—The Supreme Court rules in Hobby Lobby that people who are corporations have religious rights, too. 2003—The Army Times reports that the Bush administration wants to cut combat and family-separation pay for troops in combat zones. 1984—GOP Chairman Frank Fahrenkopf proposes adding Ronald Reagan’s face to Mt. Rushmore. 1980—The Supreme Court rules that a woman’s right to a federally-funded abortion is nullified by other peoples’ religious beliefs. 1973—Dwight E. Stone, a black, 24 year-old plumber’s assistant from Sacramento,under indictment for failure to appear in 1969, is the last man drafted into the U.S. Army. 1971—The Supreme Court rules that the White House cannot prevent publication …

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