The Alleged Editor

2016—The 477-foot tanker Chem Venus runs aground off Goat Island, damaging itself and three boats at the Kittery Point Yacht Club. 2006—“It was not always certain,” says George W.[MD] Bush, “that the U.S. and America would have a close relationship.” 1989—The Washington Times reports that high officials in the Reagan & Bush I administrations are under investigation for involvement in a homosexual prostitution ring. The story quickly and conveniently evaporates. 1987—“We don’t care,” declares Attorney General Ed “Meese is a Pig” Meese, “about the political or ideological allegiances of a prospective judge.” His audience bursts out laughing. 1966—U.S. starts bombing major oil facilities in Hanoi …

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2018—A Trump defender with a grudge and a shotgun kills five in the Capital Gazette newsroom. 2009—Stephen Hawking throws a party for time travelers. No one shows. 2005—Operation Red Wings goes sideways: 19 U.S. special operators die in Afghanistan’s Korengal Valley, including Daniel R. Healy of Exeter, N.H. It’s the greatest single loss for U.S. special ops since WW II. 1994—The Department of Energy admits hundreds of U.S. citizens were used as unwitting guinea pigs in radiation experiments during the Cold War. 1975—Rod Serling enters another dimension…. 1972—Nixon says no new draftees will be sent to Vietnam, further eroding an anti-war movement already weakened by …

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2018—Donald Trump’s banker’s father announces he’s creating a vacancy on the Supreme Court by retiring. 2006—Gutless pinko bastards in the Senate block a Flag Protection Amendment® by one vote. 2003—On the first day it’s possible, more than 735,000 people sign up for the “Do Not Call” list. 2000—“Until I’m the President,” says George W.[MD] Bush, “it’s going to be hard for me to verify that I think I’ll be more effective.” 1986—The International Court of Justice rules the U.S. was out of line in funding the Contras. 1973—While reading Nixon’s “Enemies List” live on CBS News, Daniel Schorr discovers that he’s on it. 1954—CIA-sponsored rebels …

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2015—The Supreme Court puts an end to marriage discrimination. 2013—Byron Low Tax Looper [actual name], convicted of murdering his political opponent, dies at 48, of a heart attack, hours after assaulting a pregnant prison guard. 2006—Rush Limbaugh’s illicit Viagra stash is confiscated on his return from the Dominican Republic, a popular sex tourism destination. 2002—A Federal court edits “under God” out of the Pledge of Allegiance. 1995—In Golf Manor, Mich., EPA workers dismantle a homemade nuclear reactor in the suburban backyard of David Hahn, 17. 1976—Gov. Kit Bond rescinds a predecessor’s “Extermination Order” banning Mormons from Missouri. 1954—Bao Dai, the feckless puppet Emperor of South …

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2013—The Supreme Court rips the guts out of the Voting Rights Act. 2005—“I could kill someone with this,” says Vladimir Putin putting Bob Kraft’s Super Bowl ring in his pocket. 1998—The Fed OKs the Travelers/Citicorp merger: the fuse is lit. 1996—Al-Qaeda kills 19 U.S. servicemen in Saudi Arabia and wounds 372. Saudis and the CIA blame Iran. 1973—Ex-White House Counsel John Dean, on live TV, blows the big whistle on his crooked former boss. 1971—ITT lobbyist Dita M. Beard writes a memo noting that Pres. Richard “Dick” Nixon knew ITT was giving the Republican National Committee a $400,000 bribe to get a favorable Justice Dept. …

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1994—Air Force Lt. Col Arthur Holland, hot-dogging during air-show practice maneuvers, crashes a B-52 at Fairchild AFB in Washington State. 1982—All engines fail on a British Airways 747 en route to Australia after flying through a cloud of volcanic ash; 14 minutes later, pilots re-start the engines and land successfully. 1971—Nixon’s Special Counsel Charles Colson circulates the first White House “Enemies List.” 1970—Staging fails on the Kittery side of the Piscataqua River Bridge project. Four men fall 75 feet to their deaths, seven others are injured. 1968—Gen. Earle G. Wheeler, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs, tells a Long Island audience, “The enemy has lost whatever …

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