The Alleged News®

When last we checked, Rep. Matt Gaetz [R-Fla.] was still slated to be the featured speaker at the Nashua Republican City Committee’s annual “Steak Out,” scheduled for August 27. We’re worried, though, that Nashua Republicans might give in to the Governor’s pleas and disinvite him. If they do, we’ll lose our news hook. So, let’s check in on this Florida Man. On March 24th, Fox’s Paul Steinhauser breathlessly reported: “EXCLUSIVE—No. He’s not mulling a 2024 presidential run. “But. “Rep. Matt Gaetz of Florida is headed to the first-in-the-nation presidential primary state of New Hampshire this summer, to help raise money for fellow Republicans. “Multiple Republican …

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Well, maybe water and fire…. Starting this fortnight’s news at the top, we can report that things are looking a little squishy up there at the top of the ancient oblate spheroid we all call home. It’s early in the season, but according one authoritative source,* the extent of arctic sea ice is now lower than it was in 2012, and has been since mid-February. That’s not good, since 2012 holds the record for minimum sea ice. Members of the Party of Lincoln may choose to refute this, but it’s widely believed that ice melts as a result of higher temperatures. Another phenomenon associated with …

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Monday, March 29th will be National Vietnam War Veterans Day, as we all know. “National Vietnam War Veterans Day,” according to Wikipedia,* “is a U.S. holiday observed annually on March 29. It recognizes veterans who served in the U.S. military during the Vietnam War. It should not be confused with Veterans Day.” This particular day was chosen because “on March 29, 1973, Military Assistance Command, Vietnam (MACV) was disbanded and the last U.S. combat troops departed the Republic of Vietnam.” MACV was the successor to MAAG, the Military Assistance Advisory Group, which was sent by Harry Truman, in 1950, to help the French hang onto …

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A recent headline out of South Carolina compels us to drag the term neoliberalism out of the closet; our apologies to the reader. Whenever we use this term we meet with some pushback from certain quarters—and rightly so. It’s one of those abstract, obscure, multi-syllabic terms that is rarely if ever taught in school. It would be downright rude to just throw in on the page and expect everyone to understand what we mean. In those rare cases when it comes up in conversation, an argument is probably underway—or about to begin. These negative characteristics tend to reduce the use—and therefore the usefulness—of the word. …

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President Biden has nominated Rep. Deb Haaland [D-N.M.] to be Secretary of the Interior. If she’s confirmed, that will be historic; Haaland would be the first Native American to serve in the Cabinet. Haaland is an enrolled citizen of the Pueblo of Laguna, and refers to herself as a 35th-generation New Mexican. The Puebloans, she said in an address to the 2020 DNC convention, migrated to the Rio Grande valley in the late 1200s. Naturally, since Haaland is demonstrably not a white male Republican, there have been some objections. Senator Steve Daines [R-Mont.] released a statement saying, “After our conversation, I’m deeply concerned with the …

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