Volume 268 | No. 9

2001—With George W.[MD] Bush duly sworn in, Paul Wolfowitz, Ahmad Chalaby, Doug Feith and other neocons meet at Richard Perle’s home to plot a regime change in Iraq. 2001—Ignoring the jeers of 20,000 demonstrators, the New York Times “reports” George W.[MD] Bush may usher in a “new era of… social justice.” 1997—Newt Gingrich becomes the first Speaker of the House to be disciplined for unethical behavior. 1996—Bill and Monica enjoy their fifth illicit encounter. 1981—National Security Advisor Dick Allen does Nancy Reagan a favor, intercepting gifts from a Japanese reporter the law prohibits her from accepting. She repays the favor by exploiting that act to …

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2017—After D.J. Trump gives his “American Carnage” speech, George W.[MD] Bush says to Hillary Clinton, “Well, that was some weird shit.” 2009—“If I ever run for President,” says Donald Trump, “please shoot me.” 2009—The GOP’s top Members of Congress gather to plot against the newly-inaugurated President. 2009—Swearing in President Obama off the top of his head, Chief Justice John Roberts blows his lines. 2005—J.P. Morgan Chase admits two banks it swallowed had taken enslaved people as collateral years before. 1981—Awakened at 9:00 a.m. and reminded that he’ll soon be inaugurated, Ronald Reagan asks, “Does that mean I have to get up?” He will go on …

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2004—Weeks after telling Chris Matthews, “we’re going to break up the giant media enterprises,” Howard Dean addresses a screaming crowd in Iowa. Video techs create a clip using sound from his mike only, making him sound unhinged. It will aired 633 times over the next four days. 2001—On his last full day in office, Bill Clinton admits he perjured himself when he denied having sex with “that woman,” Monica Lewinsky. 1989—Frank F. Fowle III, an actor whose favorite Iliad line was “Let me not then die ingloriously and without a struggle,” succumbs to stab wounds suffered during a fight with a thief. 1985—At the Houston …

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2018—So-called President Donnie Trump tells the Pentagon he wants a parade just like Emmanuel Macron’s. 1990—Washington, D.C. Mayor Marion Barry is busted in a drug sting. 1983—Ronald Reagan hosts Roy Cohn and Rupert Murdoch in the Oval Office. That’s it: we’re doomed. 1983—Taking time out from dissing gays in the Dartmouth Review, Laura Ingraham pleads nolo to shoplifting. 1969—Peace talks begin in Paris between U.S. and Vietnam. 1968—At the White House, Eartha Kitt has the gall to speak her mind about the Vietnam War. Her career begins to recover a decade later. 1943—The Red Army breaks the 890-day Nazi siege of Leningrad. 1909—The National Guard …

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 2014—NRA Board Member Ted Nugent, on TV, calls President Obama a “mongrel,” and says liberals should be prosecuted for treason. 2003—George W.[MD] Bush tells wounded troops at Walter Reed we “must provide the best care” for veterans—the same day the VA cuts off health care for 164,000 veterans. 2003—Gertrude Janeway, the last known widow of a Union Civil War veteran, dies at 93. When they married, he was 81 and she was 18. 1986—Ronald Reagan, 74, has polyps removed and authorizes the secret (and illegal) sale of weapons to Iran. 1968—George W.[MD] Bush scores just 25 percent on Texas’ Air National Guard’s pilot aptitude test, …

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2020—The Senate starts trying The Former Guy, but the jury’s been fixed. 2018—White House physician Dr. Ronny Jackson claims Donald Trump a) passed a cognitive test, and b) might live to be 200 if he had a healthier diet. 2014—Unable to acquire their standard poison, Ohio’s official kill team tries a new drug combo. A witness later says seeing Dennis McGuire gasp and snort for 15 minutes was “ghastly.” 2008—Bushian “Point of Light” Earl Paulk confesses to perjury and adultery: he did sleep with his sister-in-law. Also,  his “nephew” is really his son. 1986—The DOE announces a seven-year, 26-contestant game show: loser gets a nuclear …

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