The Alleged Editor

The Sordid Path to Nomination

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Let’s see now…which of this fortnight’s top news stories shall we rant about in this issue… …the alleged President saying that “We are going to win four more years. And then after that we’ll go for another four years, because they spied on my campaign.”? …the House candidate who accused the Obama administration of using the MS-13 gang to commit murders—without losing her backing from the GOP? …the Republican-led Senate Intelligence Committee report detailing the Paul Manafort’s business relationship with a Russian intelligence agent? …the investigation by a Congressional committee into efforts by top appointees to destroy the Postal Service? …the alleged President saying “we …

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A Grand Cavalcade of Delusion

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OK, we lied. In this fortnight’s rant we begged off from reporting on…that thing that happened at the White House last night. In the cold light of dawn [and for this time of year it was strangely cold] it is clear that such an abdication of responsibility is simply not acceptable. Accordingly, we have spiked the Pulitzer-quality essay which had been slotted for this space, in favor of the following modest bit of drivel. First, to properly frame our assessment of the event under discussion, it’s important to remember that it was the slimax [That’s actually a typo, but we’re leaving it right there.–The Ed.] …

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Fri, Aug 28

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2005—Hurricane Katrina hits New Orleans and the levees break. 1968—Police preserve disorder at the Democratic Convention in Chicago. 1963—At the Lincoln Memorial, Martin Luther King, Jr. calls for freedom to ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire … . 1955—During a visit to family in Money, Miss., fourteen year-old Chicagoan Emmett Till is murdered by whites for speaking to a white woman. 1951—Killed in Korea, John R. Rice is denied burial at a Sioux City cemetery because he’s a Native America. 1947—In Linares, Spain, the fifth bull of the day helps even the score a little by fatally goring Manolete. 1922—WEAF in New York …

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Thurs, Aug 27

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2014—Arthur T. Demoulas gets the OK to buy Market Basket. 1991—An ABA panel rates Clarence Thomas: none find him “well-qualified” for the Supreme Court; two find him “not qualified.” 1984—Ronald Reagan announces that he will put a teacher in space. 1980—After evacuating Harvey’s Resort Hotel in Nevada, FBI agents explode an extortionist’s 600 lb. bomb, leaving a 50 by 30-foot crater. 1979—The IRA uses a radio-controlled bomb to assassinate Admiral of the Fleet Louis Mountbatten aboard his fishing boat off County Sligo. A baroness and two boys die as well. 1975—Veronica and Colin Scargill complete a 18,020-mile tandem bicycle ride around the world. 1960—Whites in …

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Wed, Aug 26

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2016—Colin Kapernick registers his protest against racial injustice by sitting as the National Anthem plays. 2005—The Portsmouth Naval Shipyard gets a stay of execution. 1980—Ex-Luftwaffepilot John Birges, trying to recoup his gambling losses, plants a half-ton bomb at Harvey’s Resort Hotel in Stateline, Nev. 1969—The New Hampshire National Guard’s 197th Field Artillery, just weeks before leaving Vietnam, loses five men in a single incident. 1968—Mayor Richard Daley welcomes Democrats to the 1968 Democratic National Convention while his cops prepare to bust heads outside. 1967—Jimi Hendrix’s “Purple Haze” is released escapes. 1967—Burt Munro, a 68-year old Kiwi on a 1920 Indian, sets the under-1,000 cc speed …

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