Digital Issues (PDFs)

Well, there went another fourteen days. Time flies even though keeping up with current events can feel like being dragged across broken glass.

Yet somehow we manage. While many are turning away from the news in disgust, our readers urge us to continue.

So, here’s the latest.

As we were putting this issue together, especially over the last few days, we’ve had our fingers crossed. Now we can breathe a sigh of relief. At least we got this paper mailed, distributed, and posted before the end of the world.

Who knows? Maybe we’ll get lucky and get to do another one. Might as well get started … got to do something while waiting for the Big Elevator Shoe to drop.

Click on this link and the Friday, June 13, 2025 issue of our paper will appear as if by magic.

Apparently it is de rigueur to offer samples in order to entice readers to click on things. Who are we to challenge the wisdom of The Market?

From our “Better Old News Than New Lies” department:

It has been thought necessary in Chicago to display the American flag in the public schools in the “foreign quarter” of the city—which is about three quarters of it—in order that the pupils may discover what the Stars and Stripes are like. This is in truth an odd country with an odd people.

Peter Alt, proprietor of the Arlington house at Baltimore, Md., was shot dead by his son William, aged fifteen, while beating his wife.

The body of banker Garrett, who was drowned by the sinking of his yacht, the Gleam, has been recovered.

The earl of Derby, whose seat is in the suburbs of Liverpool, Eng., is a pronounced kleptomaniac.

Boston’s school committee have voted to drop from the text books used in Boston schools “Swinton’s Outlines of the World’s History,” on account of the allusions which it contains to the subject of “indulgences” by the Roman Catholic church.

The news of the day is appalling, so we’ve seasoned this issue with a generous helping of items that were new 137 years ago. Here’s an example:

“There was almost a riot at the Second Presbyterian church in Newburyport last Sunday, owing to the parish committee having locked the doors and stationed an officer to prevent the late pastor, Rev. Theodore Beizeley, from entering. Legal complications are expected to ensue.”

And here’s another:

“Mrs. Ivory Bean and Mrs. Orrin C. Boothby of South Waterboro, York county, Me., got into a dispute on Memorial day, Mrs. Bean accusing the other woman of being too intimate with Mr. Bean. Mrs. Boothby resented this by knocking Mrs. Bean down, hauling her out of the house by the hair, and beating and kicking her. Mrs. Bean, who is in delicate situation, will probably die from the effects of this treatment, and her assailant has been arrested.

Hmmm… maybe it’s always been appalling.

For the whole paper, click this link.

Another fortnight, another eight pages of relatively uninhibited news. Thousands of copies are now available at scores of locations throughout the watershed of the Piscataqua, New England’s gnarliest river. For optimum reading satisfaction, we recommend the newsprint version. Unfortunately, for the vast majority of humans, that option is not feasible. For the next best thing, click on this link right here and check out the .pdf.

Did we learn, this fortnight, how to create a link so that readers could click on the image at right to download our latest issue? We did not.

What’s our excuse? We were distracted by a complaint from a Very Important Person. See Mash Notes, Hate Mail & Other correspondence for our frank exchange of views.

Here’s the link to the pdf of the whole paper.

Well, we failed to learn, over the course of the fortnight, why our old method of posting digital issues no longer works. So, clicking on the image will get you nowhere. You’ll have to click here.

Is it any wonder why we love newsprint?

Not to fall into the trap of being the old one complaining that the new tech keeps changing the rules or anything, but the method we’ve been using successfully for years, which allowed us to present you, dear reader, with an image to click and be immediately whisked to a .pdf of our latest paper seems determined to no longer function.

Perhaps can we blame this on DOGE. It’s screwing up everything else, faster than we can hope to track.

At right, we see an image of the front page of the paper we just published. Don’t bother clicking on it.

Instead, click on this text link.

March 7, 2025— To download this issue of our paper, just click on the image at right.