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Communists and Socialists in the White House

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Monday, August 31, 2009 — Well, folks, it looks like, in the interests of honesty and truth in advertising, it’s time to paint the White House red. At Saturday’s Town Hall on Health Care, the aptly-named Diane Bitter, who according to the Portsmouth Herald is “of the Rye Republican Committee,” expressed her view that the country is being run by un-elected Communist and Socialist Czars in the White House. At about :42, as Ms. Bitter explains how these evil-doers are “creating a shadow government that will control the power and the money,” there’s a lucid catcall from the audience, to which Ms. Bitter responds. Rep. …

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Obama Allegedly Intends to Kill Your Grandmother

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Saturday, August 29, 2009 — It is with great alarm that we report that, according to the Lyndon LaRouche Outer Space Choir, the President of the United States, Mr. Barack Hussein Obama, intends to terminate the life of your dear old Grandma. NB — Fortunately, we suspect the Choir may not have all its facts entirely straight. PS — We have additional, less inflamatory footage of this event. We hope to present it soon.

Wet Work

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Monday, August 24, 2009 — Granted, it’s not exactly breaking news. The event took place August 7th. But we do what we can. Herewith, exclusive footage, or inchage, of the event that copyright law prohibits us from calling anything like “Tall Ships, 2009.” Woops … Sadly, the lovely bridge in the background is still in danger.

Howie “Chickenhawk” Carr Abets Possible Slander of the Leftist Marching Band

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Friday, August 14, 2009 — Howie Carr allowed a caller named “Debbie” to commit what seems to us like a slander on his radio show Tuesday [visitors are invited to employ The Google to find a link] against one of the Seacoast’s most beloved musical ensembles. Thanks to our pal Dave at The Wire for forwarding the following audio clip: [audio:https://www.nhgazette.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/an-unpleasant-bunch.mov] Here’s a transcript: Guitar intro … Announcer: “Broadcasting from the New Balance World Headquarters Building, this is the Howie Carr Show.” Carr: “Are you glad you went, Debbie?” Debbie: “You know what? Sometimes you’ve got to stand up and be counted, Howie. And I …

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Another Report From Ground Zero

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Final Update; 9:00 p.m. — Inside the Portsmouth High School gym, undercover Moslem terrorist Barack Hussein Obama outlined his plan for reforming Americas health care system by increasing efficiency and eliminating billions in needless subsidies for insurance companies, while improving care for all, then gave thoughtful and lucid answers to a broad array of questions Meanwhile, outside the gym, this mild-mannered patriotic American conveyed a certain lack of enthusiasm for his proposals: Update; 3:15 p.m. — MSNBC displays its quaint naivete about the laws of the state of New Hampshire, as a resident lives out the true meaning of the libertarian creed: what’s the point …

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Crazed Flying Kenyan Terrorizes Seniors, Pigeons

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Portsmouth, Monday, August 10, 2009 — Barack Obama, the crazed Kenyan terrorist who was sworn in as President by the traitorous Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts, terrorized senior citizens and two pigeons Saturday afternoon, in preparation for the Town Hall meeting on health care to be held at Portsmouth Public High School tomorrow. Obama, a Muslim, personally flew Marine One over Keefe House, home to 58 members of The Greatest Generation™, to intimidate the occupants and dissuade them from appearing Tuesday. Either that, or he was searching for alternative routes of egress, in case his sinister plot to euthanize the Town Hall audience goes …

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