Digital Issues (PDFs)

Another fortnight, another no-show from truth, justice, and the American Way.

Like our favorite forgotten Founding Father, we hold monarchy in contempt as a form of government.

Here’s what Thomas Paine had to say about William the Conqueror, who ruled England after the Battle of Hastings in 1066: “A French bastard landing with an armed Banditti and establishing himself king of England against the consent of the natives, is in plain terms a very paltry rascally original.”

Despite our antipathy towards all things regal, in this issue we had a kind word for one of King Billy’s predecessors.

Strange times, indeed. To learn what has come over us, just give this link a click.

Well, the nation appears to have survived the Fourth, provided one overlooks the cage match on the White House lawn and the arrest of an Olympian for interfering with the swampy Reflecting Pool.

But the trap just set by the so-called Justice Department, to ensnare and terrorize honest election officials, makes us wonder if our democratic republic will survive Election Day.

A digital facsimile of our latest issue is available here and now. Just give this link a click.

With the 250th Anniversary of the Glorious Fourth just over a week away, we meditate on the generally-ignored conspiracy which led to the Declaration. Tricorns off for William Hogeland, whose Declaration [Simon & Schuster, 2010] so brilliantly brought the plot to our attention.

For that and a whole lot more, just give this link a click.

For those of us used to living and working in the home of the First in the Nation™ Presidential Primary Election,® it’s a little disorienting: the whole country is suddenly focused on a single election, and it’s over on the other side of the river.

What could have caused Maine Democrats to nominate an ogre for Senate? Maybe they listened to what he was saying, rather than what people were saying about him.

To see the latest iteration of a newspaper so old that it reported on the American Revolution, just give this link a click.

We are not so delusional as to think that The Greatest President Ever is aware of our existence. And we are certainly not members of the charmed circle of intimates for whom he will do unseemly favors. Nevertheless, though inadvertently, he did us a favor recently.

Usually it takes a bit of thought to pick a topic for the rant. Let it be known, though, there’s a $1,766,666,666 slush fund for traitors, and that question is done and dusted.

To read about that, and other some shenanigans, just give this link a click.

Here in our newsroom, every fortnight is a brain marathon. Our editor, a lazy person at heart, generally scrimps well enough on energy expenditure to post at least some of the latest paper’s content before throwing in the towel.

This fortnight a petty but ill-timed calamity involving credit card numbers, PINs, passwords—the usual rigamarole, now resolved—took that last bit of energy and set it alight, like a gas flare at an oil well. All those BTUs, gone for nothing…

Ah, well. Such is life in this collapsing empire. We’ll be posting those parts tomorrow. As our longtime readers know, breaking news is not our bailiwick.

Besides, the whole issue is available in pdf. To read it just give this link a click.

We were aware of today’s national May Day protest, but we did not deviate from our usual routine.

Why? Because, in publishing this newspaper, putting workers over billionaires is what we do.

As proof, we offer our issue dated May Day, 2026. To read it, just give this link a click.

Let the record show that what passes for civilization has reached the state at which it’s possible to say without exaggeration that any fortnight without Armageddon is a good one.

In celebration of not yet having been destroyed by an autocrat with both frontotemporal dementia and nuclear weapons, we have published another newspaper.

To read our latest issue, just give this link a click.

This fortnight’s rant looks at our current Crusade. One might hope that with a half-century of perspective on Vietnam, 35 years on Bush père’s Grand Adventure, not to mention Bush fils’ debacles, one might have hoped that this could have been avoided. But to entertain that hope, one would have to have been an idiot.

This notable absence of coherence in current events, however, did not prevent us from publishing. To read our latest issue, just give this link a click.