Volume 270, No. 9
Huh… turns out “Make America Great Again” actually meant “Make the Western Hemisphere Safe for Right Wing Oil Billionaires.”
Some people are probably saying that’s the biggest, most spectacular bait and switch that ever was.
If so, let them take their grievances to the Consumer Finance Protection Bureau. Last we heard they were operating from a kiosk in a D.C. Metro station.
Well, we’re still here, and as feisty as ever. You can download a pdf of our latest issue by clicking on this link.
Volume 270, No. 8
How do they do it? How do highly-paid network news regurgitators stave off the urge to go full Howard Beale? Mainline botox directly into their souls?
Fortunately, our staff is not required to undergo any such perverse procedure, because we rely on a less capital-dependent technology.
Focusing primarily on newsprint may limit our audience to some degree, but, as we believe this issue demonstrates, it gives full rein to our barbaric yawp.
You can download a pdf of this issue by clicking on this link.
Volume 270, No. 7
In which we ponder the conundrum of the moment: are these knuckleheads destroying the republic accidentally, or on purpose?
Also, a number of pieces of serious journalism, published here under Creative Commons license, while that’s still legal.
And, for connoisseurs of “the old, weird America,” selected items originally published by us in 1888.
You can download a pdf of this issue by clicking on this link: https://www.nhgazette.com/pdf/270_07.pdf
Volume 270, No. 6
It seems like a milestone worthy of note: this was the fortnight when the President began issuing barely-veiled death threats against Members of Congress.
We’re happy to announce that the bad news is pretty much limited to official business. This issue includes some reportage on citizens’ response to the administration’s constant flood of inanity.
You can download a pdf of this issue by clicking on this link: https://www.nhgazette.com/pdf/270_06.pdf
Volume 270, No. 5
Well, that was a hell of a fortnight, wasn’t it? But of course, they all are, these days.
So we asked ourselves, “These days every fortnight is just another hellish spectacle. Does that mean that, under the ‘Dog Bites Man’ principle, news no longer exists?”
We answered ourselves, “Uh-uh, Mr. Man. We’re not falling for that bullshit,” and put out another newspaper.
You can download a pdf of it by clicking on this link:
Volume 270, No. 4
For the record, it is merely a coincidence that we are publishing a paper full of ghastly news on the one day of the year devoted to horror.
Obviously, we are not responsible for current events; we only try to report on them them honestly.
Besides, lately the news has been ghastly every day.
And, believe it or not, the news is not entirely bad.
To download a pdf of this fortnight’s paper, just click this link.
Volume 270, No. 3
So far, so good: no anonymous armed men rappelling from black helicopters onto the newsroom roof yet. If our luck holds we’ll be at the local No Kings rally tomorrow.
We regret the quasi-apocalyptic tone, but anything else would be inappropriate. We covered the nation’s birth; lately it feels like we may be on hand for its demise.
Success seemed improbable way back when.
Today, so does the survival of this newspaper.
We look forward to, some day, looking back on how fascism was defeated. We expect we’ll be surprised.
To download a pdf of this fortnight’s paper, just click this link.
Volume 270, No. 2
Well, whaddya know: here we are, putting out a newspaper in the absence of a functioning government.
Wait a minute. “A functioning government”? Hasn’t that been an oxymoron for quite a while now?
Here’s the good news: the gradual dissolution of whatever had been holding this nation together hasn’t yet disrupted our publication schedule.
To download a pdf of this fortnight’s paper, just click this link.
Volume 270, No. 1
We had not expected, as the fortnight began, for current events to simmer down. Not with our draft-dodging President openly fantasizing about napalming Chicago. Once again, though, actual events, shall we say, exceeded our expectations.
Once again, along with a host of more up-to-date news, we included healthy dose of old news. We find it helps to keep things in perspective. Tramps! Mugwumps! Women murdered in Whitechapel, London!
To download a pdf of this fortnight’s paper, just click this link.