Digital Issues (PDFs)

For the record, it is merely a coincidence that we are publishing a paper full of ghastly news on the one day of the year devoted to horror.

Obviously, we are not responsible for current events; we only try to report on them them honestly.

Besides, lately the news has been ghastly every day.

And, believe it or not, the news is not entirely bad.

To download a pdf of this fortnight’s paper, just click this link.

Well, whaddya know: here we are, putting out a newspaper in the absence of a functioning government.

Wait a minute. “A functioning government”? Hasn’t that been an oxymoron for quite a while now?

Here’s the good news: the gradual dissolution of whatever had been holding this nation together hasn’t yet disrupted our publication schedule.

To download a pdf of this fortnight’s paper, just click this link.

We had not expected, as the fortnight began, for current events to simmer down. Not with our draft-dodging President openly fantasizing about napalming Chicago. Once again, though, actual events, shall we say, exceeded our expectations.

Once again, along with a host of more up-to-date news, we included healthy dose of old news. We find it helps to keep things in perspective. Tramps! Mugwumps! Women murdered in Whitechapel, London!

To download a pdf of this fortnight’s paper, just click this link.

The times, they are confusing. In this fortnight’s papers, we try to make sense of such things as a Fox “News” reporter asking the guy who, despite a literally Gargantuan litany of disqualifications, is generally accepted to currently be president, “How did you find out over the weekend that you were dead?”

Along with a host of more up-to-date news, we included healthy dose old news. We find it helps to keep things in perspective.

To download a pdf of today’s New Hampshire Gazette, just click on this link.

To download a pdf of today’s New Hampshire Gazette, just click on this link.

By way of enticement, here are a few selected items from our “Better Old News Than New Lies” department:

The Elbe at Hamburg has crocodiles in it, thirteen having escaped from a menagerie steamer.

In a fight at a Baptist meeting at Monticello, Ga., Aug. 23d, two men were shot dead, one or two mortally wounded, and several badly hurt. Over thirty shots were fired. Those fellows evidently belong to the church militant.

Ogdensburgh customs officials have been arrested charged with stealing opium stored in the custom house. They are reformers.

At an Irish exhibition in Barrack street, London, Aug. 22d, a band from Cork refused to play the British national anthem, and was hissed by the spectators. Members of the band afterward stated that they would not have dared to return to Ireland if they had played the anthem.

To download a pdf of today’s New Hampshire Gazette, just click on this link.

By way of enticement, here are a few selected items from our “Better Old News Than New Lies” department:

James McDevitt got shaved in a barber shop at Somerville, Mass., Saturday night, refused to pay for the shave, and was stabbed in the face with a pair of shears by the barber.

According to the returns of the keepers of the Boston public baths, there were 250,000 visitors in July.

Lawrence Donovan, who jumped from the Brooklyn bridge some time ago, and escaped without serious harm, on the 7th inst. jumped from the Hungerford bridge across the Thames at London, and was drowned.

Edward H. Olmstead, head clerk in the bursar’s office at Harvard college has emigrated with $1200 not belonging to him.

Charles Post, the bunco steerer who swindled an aged citizen of Charlestown, Mass., out of $3000, has been arrested in New York.

John Jacobs goes to the penitentiary for four months, for trying to jump off the Brooklyn bridge.

From this fortnight’s Old News: “Tuesday afternoon, July 24th, Orrin Kenniston of Newmarket, who had been in Exeter jail since April, was let out, went home, and proceeded to turn down [i.e., drink] liquor until he placed himself in a delightful condition of intoxication. He then went to his boarding house and commenced to try to run it according to his ideas, as a persuader brandishing an empty revolver to scare the bosses. He had it all his own way until the majesty of the law appeared in the person of Officer Arthur Chesley, who quickly quieted him and carried him to the police station, where he stayed all night in durance vile. Wednesday morning he was taken before Justice Mellows, and held in $600 for the supreme court in this city until October; but he thought he had been in jail for as long as he cared for, at present, so before three o’clock Wednesday afternoon he removed the bars from his cell window, and departed.” – New Hampshire Gazette, August 2, 1888.

For more of this sort of thing, and news, too, click here for a .pdf of today’s paper.

Hmm… maybe we ought to try some self-promotion… . Here are a couple of excerpts from our “Better Old News Than New Lies” feature, taken from our July 19, 1888 issue:

Rev. O.D. Kimball, formerly pastor of the Baptist church in Leominster, Mass., and now of the West Newton Baptist church, has left the latter place after putting a letter of resignation in the hands of church officers. He admits that he was guilty of gross immorality with five members of his church in Leominster, who were some time ago expelled from that church for making the charges.

The house has decided to put wool on the free list, only three democrats, all northern men, voting against it. Rice and sugar, which are raised solely in the south, will continue to be heavily protected. The south is in the saddle again, unquestionably.

For more of this, and news, too, click here for a .pdf of today’s paper.