Newton Leroy "Newt" Gingrich
Chickenhawk First Class with Distinguished Fleeing Cross
June 17, 1943
Attending grad school
A virtuoso in the art of hypocrisy, the former Speaker of the House now claims the Vietnam War was a splendid idea, but at the time he opposed going himself. Newtie also speaks highly of morality, but as a serial adulterer he doesn't want to get too close to it himself.