2003—Warren Zevon sleeps.
2000—[“When I am President, we] will not have our veterans standing in line waiting for benefits that they’ve been promised,” George W.[MD] Bush falsely asserts.
1996—Two women walk into the Norfolk (Va.) Naval Base with a banner reading “Love Your Enemies.” They’re promptly arrested.
1988—“Today is Pearl Harbor Day,” says George H.[H.]W. Bush.
1974—R. Nixon, irate that G. Ford is demanding a show of contrition, issues a threat: if Ford doesn’t pardon him, he’ll accuse Ford of promising a pardon in exchange for the Presidency.
1970—“Plant one, plant two [Secret Service agents] on [Ted Kennedy],” Richard Nixon says to aides. “We might just get lucky and catch this son-of-a-bitch—ruin him for ’76. It’s going to be fun.”
1964—Lyndon Johnson’s infamous “Daisy Ad,” airs, once.
1914—French generals send 6,000 infantrymen from Paris to the Battle of the Marne in taxicabs. They hold the line and save the city.
1737—Thomas Penn’s “Walking Purchase” swindles the Lenni Lenape out of an area the size of Rhode Island.
1676—Major Richard Waldron invites 400 natives to a mock battle with his militia. Once the natives have discharged their guns they’re taken prisoner, sent to Boston, and executed or sold into slavery.