Fri, Dec 8

2006—Congress votes to destroy the U.S. Postal Service by making it pre-fund pensions for 50 years.

2004—Sec. of Defenselessness Donald Rumsfeld tells disgruntled soldiers to quit bitching and go to war with the unarmored vehicles he gave them.

1993—Bill Clinton signs NAFTA, shipping umpteen jobs elsewhere.

1982—To jumpstart a national dialogue on banning nuclear weapons, Norman D. Mayer, 66, threatens to blow up the Washington Monument with a dynamite-laden van. After ten hours, police shoot him dead.

1976—A prop on the set of “The Six Million Dollar Man” is found to be the mummified remains of Elmer McCurdy, born in Maine in 1880, hanged in Oklahoma in 1911.

1972—United Flight 553 crashes in Chicago killing 45 people including E. Howard Hunt’s wife Dorothy, who was carrying $10,000 in $100 bills.

1953—Good ol’ Ike announces Atoms for Peace, leading to an Iranian nuclear program four years later.

1864—Pope Pius IX denounces liberalism, socialism, & rationalism.

1854—Pope Pius IX proclaims Ineffabilis Deus, the doctrine of the Immaculate Conception.

1793—Madame du Barry is guillotined for aiding emigrés. Her enslaved servant Zamor blew the whistle.

1596—Nine suspected crypto-Jews are tortured and burned at the stake by the Mexican Inquisition.

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