2024—Joe Biden interrupts his nap to withdraw from the 2024 election.
2007—George W.[MD] Bush invokes the 25th Amendment, making Dick “Dick” Cheney President while Bush gets his colon inspected.
2000—Long-time Texas voter Dick “Dick” Cheney registers in Wyoming to dodge a Constitutional proviso.
2000—The FBI and ATF are exonerated for killing 80 religious fanatics during a 1993 siege in Waco, Texas.
1959—Elijah Jerry “Pumpsie” Green integrates the Red Sox—at last.
1954—As the Geneva Accords free Vietnam from French colonial rule, the U.S. steps in to preserve disorder.
1919—With the cops on the sidelines, Blacks in D.C. arm themselves and fight back against white aggression.
1918—At Orleans, Mass., U-156 conducts Germany’s sole attack of the war on the U.S. mainland. Four barges sink, the tug Perth Amboy is damaged, and a few shells hit the beach.
1893—Dalles, Ore., land fraudster Rev. Orson D. Taylor, 57, who withheld wages from Bessie Holcomb, is horsewhipped by her lover, Marie Equi, 21. Locals bid at auction for the whip; proceeds go to the women.
1877—Pittsburgh militiamen bayonet and shoot railroad strikers; 20 die. Surviving strikers burn 39 buildings and wreck 104 locomotives.
1748—Founding Father B. Franklin publishes instructions telling Americans how to perform home abortions.