2009—A spokesperson explains the conspicuous absence of South Carolina’s GOP Governor: Mark Sanford is “hiking the Appalachian Trail.”
2005—Undeterred by futility, the Republican-led House passes a Flag Protection Amendment.®
2004—On the floor of the Senate, Veep Dick “Dick” Cheney tells Sen. Pat Leahy, “Go fuck yourself.”
2004—Yet another cash-laden C-130 lands in Iraq; this one carries the biggest load of them all: $2,401,600,000.
2002—Enron execs admit they hid $1.5 billion in illegal profits gouged from California ratepayers.
1977—Nixon’s ex-AG John Mitchell begins a 19-month prison sentence.
1972—UPI’s Helen Thomas gets a call from Martha Mitchell: “I’m a captive…”; the phone goes dead. On the scene, Nixon’s lawyer orders that the AG’s wife be sedated by injection.
1970—The 24th Amendment gives 18-year-olds the right to vote.
1969—Ohio’s Cuyahoga River ignites, inspiring Randy Newman.
1964—The fun-loving U.S. Supreme Court overturns the Post Office’s ban of Henry Miller’s Tropic of Cancer.
1950—Retired FBI agents help a paranoid fabric importer publish Red Channels, a pamphlet claiming radio and TV are full of Commies.
1942—Congress adopts the Flag Code,® thus replacing the embarrassingly Nazi-like “Flag Salute” with FDR’s hand-on-heart gesture.