Sun, Dec 19

2007—A fire breaks out near “Dick” Cheney’s office. Probable cause: spontaneous inhuman combustion.

1998—As Bill Clinton is being impeached for some hanky-panky, Speaker-elect Bob Livingston resigns to cover up a bit of his own.

1984—Due to a work speedup, 27 coal miners are killed in Utah.

1974—Norris Cotton finagles a bill giving New Hampshire’s senior Senator the right in perpetuity to commandeer Daniel Webster’s old desk.

1973—Johnny Carson makes a joke about a non-existent toilet paper shortage, inadvertantly causing one.

1946—The Viet Minh take on the French in Indo-China.

1944—Primarily due to bad generalship, two-thirds of the 106th Infantry, comprising 8,000 men, must surrender during the Battle of the Bulge.

1941—Ex-corporal Hitler takes direct command of the German Army.

1910—Spurred on by the Baltimore Sun, that city mandates the racial segregation of residential areas.

1907—An explosion kills 239 coal miners, many minors, in Smithton, Pa.

1865—South Carolina passes a law requiring all Black “servants” to sign contracts with their “masters” and be “polite” while working dawn-to-dusk.

1777—Washington’s army arrives at Valley Forge, Pa.

1776—Thomas Paine’s American Crisis is first published; “These are the times that try men’s souls….”

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