2013—Americans learn, thanks to Edward Snowden, that the annual “Black Budget” of the “Intelligence Community” is $52.6 billion a year.
2007—Due to careless accounting, an Air Force B-52 at Minot AFB in North Dakota is loaded with six live nukes, then left unguarded overnight.
1996—Dick Morris resigns; his habit of sucking hooker’s toes bugs boss Bill Clinton, who just got re-nominated.
1977—Skynet becomes self-aware.
1977—Memphis cops nab three people trying to steal Elvis’s corpse.
1970—A 23-member band of Native Americans scale Mount Rushmore and re-name it for Crazy Horse.
1968—A week-long rebellion erupts at the Long Binh Jail in Vietnam.
1957—Despite a 24 hr., 18 min. filibuster by Sen. Strom Thurmond (R-S.C.)—father, at 22, of a mixed-race child by his family’s 16-year-old maid—the Civil Rights Act passes.
1956—Jesus Christ “GG” Allin, the most depraved punk rocker in history, is born in Lancaster, New Hampshire.
1921—Coal companies use hired airplanes to drop bombs on miners at Blair Mountain, West Virginia.
1787—Though dropped the day before when two objected, on this day The Framers agree: fugitive slaves “shall be delivered up to the person justly claiming their service or labor.”
1786—Farmers in Northampton, Mass.—many Revolution vets—close the courts to prevent foreclosures.