Mon, April 1

2013—In Portsmouth Harbor, the tanker Harbour Feature allides with the Sarah Mildred Long Bridge.

2004—Britain declassifies “Blue Peacock,” a 1957 plan to bury nukes in Germany with live chickens keeping the electronics warm. [No, this isn’t a joke.]

2003—Bush administration propagandists claim Special Forces have “rescued” PFC Jessica Lynch. It’s a lie.

1997—A blizzard dumps 18 inches of snow on Portsmouth.

1994—Steve Bannon, accompanied by federal marshals, arrives via limo to manage Biosphere 2, an ecological experiment in the Arizona desert. A break-in, lawsuits, and failure ensue.

1974—Sitka, Alaska residents fear dormant Mount Edgecumbe is erupting. Nope. It’s just “Porky” Bickar burning tires up there in the crater.

1971—Texas legislators honor Albert de Salvo for “unconventional techniques involving population control.”

1966—RIP Brian O’Nolan, aka Flann O’Brien, aka Myles na gCopaleen.

1957—The BBC reports that Swiss farmers are struggling to cope with “an exceptionally heavy spaghetti crop.”

1920—Five New York legislators are expelled for being socialists.

1865—Gov. John Milton [D-Fla.], a descendant of the poet, shoots himself in the head because, “Death would be preferable to reunion.”

1671—A blizzard leaves six-foot drifts of snow in Portsmouth.

1649—The Diggers begin digging.

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