To the Editor:
Let’s say a non-commissioned officer leads a squad of men. The NCO says to them, “You are all equal and will be treated equally.” They all run the same obstacle course, eat the same food and are dismissed together at the end of each day. One day the NCO needs one soldier to do something that is considered desirable. The NCO picks one soldier by some truly random method known to all and sends that soldier off to do it.
The NCO had to pick one, did not in any way play favorites, and has made clear a policy of equality, but not every function can be done by the entire squad together so the rigid equality that characterizes equipment and food is in this instance possible.
On the intellectual level, every member of the squad knows they have been treated fairly, but on the emotional level they also know someone else got the prized assignment. How does each of these individual soldiers feel? Are they comfortable with missing out? Of course not, but only the more sensitive amongst them will show it, while the others will rationalize the vague feeling of discomfort as error. They know the NCO is fair and ignore pesky feelings in these situations.
Beneath this set of reactions is the tricky thing about equality. Because absolute equality in everything at all times is not possible, in human experience how we feel about differences big and small is the most important factor.
In my opinion, human beings are never comfortable with equality. No human is smaller than an ant or larger than a whale. Our reality is relative equality with, all things considered, minor differences, but do we feel equal. Have you ever felt equal to everyone else? I sure haven’t, and to avoid offense, I shall from this point speak for and about myself alone.
Intellectually I know everyone is my equal (Do I?). Well, I know the Declaration of Independence says they are and that will do for now. But on the subconscious level where the deeper emotions operate and shape my attitudes, what do I feel? How does my experience of equality/reality make me feel down deep where it really matters?
In one sentence, equality in fact makes me feel inferior. I’m one of those sensitive types mentioned earlier. I find it difficult to rationalize away these feelings and they lead to all sorts of personal problems. Perhaps you, the reader, don’t feel this way or you are far less sensitive to it, but speaking for myself I have always reacted to the reality of equality with vague subconscious feelings of inferiority. “I am equal, but feel inferior.”
I doubt that I am alone in this, and in my opinion this is the tricky thing about equality.
Thomas Laperriere
Milton, N.H.